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I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.

In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double?

What’s that? I asked.

“It’s a mother and daughter threesome,” she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said “No I haven’t.”

We drank a bit more, and then she said with a wink, “tonight’s your lucky night”.

We went back to her place.

We walked in.

She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:

“Mum you still awake?”
 

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Fresh from the COP26 conference in Glasgow. Delegates have raised a major concern that diesel and petrol engined vehicles are the biggest polluters on the planet and urgent action is required globally to eliminate them.

One proposal is to power the vehicles with vaginas. The vagina is the best engine in the world. It takes any size piston, it’s self- lubricating, it can easily be started with one finger and every four weeks it does it's own oil change. It's just a pity that its management system is so effin' temperamental.
 

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Out and about today on the M25 which was just an ordinary day. :D


Hazard Motor vehicle Font Traffic sign Rectangle
 

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Dinner last night was a risotto I made with some mushrooms I foraged for locally.
Not only was it delicious, but soon after a Welsh male voice choir of purple elephants showed up and sang the whole of Meatloaf’s Bat Out Of Hell album, accompanied by a light show.
 

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The CIA wanted a base to launch covert operations in South America so they made enquiries about buying some land in Brazil. The government in Brazil was quite keen to have the Americans so they met with the CIA and told them there was an island they could have for 100 Brazilian dollars. The CIA put this back to the Pentagon for authorisation where a four star general barked “A hundred Brazillion dollars? Greedy b’stards, tell them we’ll give them a billion dollars and not one red cent more”
 
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